AGAIN! This Fear Of REJECTION!

Ahhhh! So… It’s that natural fear called REJECTION again!

 

I find this topic more and more fascinating.

Thanks to those few readers here who bother to leave valuable and interesting comments to my previous entry;) It’s great to hear u guys voicing out your different views.

 

Okay, u all certainly got a point there, afterall I being merely a girl and needless mention ever tried make any initiative in approaching a guy before, I certainly aren’t in any position to relate that “feeling of rejection”.

 

Hmm…so, guess we’re still laying on that one big natural fear: this fear of REJECTION! Deem this instinctive emotion really does paralyses and hinders u guys from doing the things u really want to do, including approaching girls. Seemingly appears that the idea of walking up to a stranger and having her REJECT u sure is causing u guys to instantly feel sick in the pit of your stomachs and literally feel a horrible combination of nervousness and confusion, huh?

Alas!… so it’s still this one big natural fear that is overshadowing most of u guys: this fear of REJECTION! One (maybe more) even think it’s this fear that make them rather walk away… hmm.. or perhaps make some rather run through a minefield than walk up to a girl and ask her out on a date?

So, perhaps it’s like those settings we see in the movie - some guys psych themselves up for an hour to go talk to a girl, but when the moment comes to actually DO IT, EVERYTHING changes, huh?

Your heart rate shoots up, breathing quickens, eyes dart back and forth, thoughts of rejection fill the mind, and eventually the pressure becomes too much to bare… huh?

Naturally, u find this state so scary that u end up deciding to “shuak” and just forget about approaching the girl... just to end the discomfort… huh?

The temptation is great to just "walk away" because just as quickly as the intense nervousness is triggered by the moment one decides to ACT, it goes away when u decide to "forget about it and walk away".

The fact that "choosing to walk away" leads to the "instant gratification" of your nervous feeling, going away thus makes it the most popular option… huh?

Ahhh, the dili-deliness of the human mind!

Is this really what most of you guys rather choose to do… just walk away? Giving up before u’ve even started?

If I just think about it, I sure can remember MANY occasions some strangers seemed to want to talk to me, but end up just didn’t do it. Those moments obviously made an impression, because, most time, those guys just make me thought they look like a nerd, staring and smiling, appear wanting to approach, but yet never dare.

Can you relate any such similar moment where u likely look like such nerd in another girl’s eyes?


THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACTUAL REJECTION AND THE FEAR OF REJECTION...

I think it's important for u guys to realize that there's a BIG difference between ACTUAL rejection (having a girl who is offended, upset, rude, etc. to u when u start talking to her) and the FEAR of rejection (how u feel when u imagine a girl rejecting u).

Actually in my opinion, I don’t think u guys are “rejected” very often mah!

 

Why I say that?

 

Ask yourself, most of the time when a guy starts talking to a girl, she is actually rather nice about the whole affair mah, not meh?

U see, if a girl isn't interested, she usually just says "I have a boyfriend" or "No thank u"... or she'll just walk away without saying anything at all.

Out of those times that u approached someone before, or seen your friend approached a girl before, can u recall any time that a girl has yelled "Get away from me u loser! Pls go look at yourself in the mirror before talking to me u ugly fatty, don’t u hold fat hopes that I’ll go out with u. The very thought of going on a date with u makes me sick to my stomach!"

ehem! Perhaps it did really happened to SOME unfortunate ones, but I certainly have never did that to any approacher in my life, and I believe most girls won’t.

Okay, I admit the worst maybe I did was making fun of the words he used (telling him that his pickup line was lame) or just walking away.

No slaps, no boyfriends beating him up, and no yelling.

 

Surely, human beings tend to want to "save face" when it comes to relationships.

Who like the idea of being outrightly “rejected” by another person wor? And normally we ALSO tend to not want to "hurt other people's feelings" by rejecting them.

This is one of the reasons why girls will often lie and say "I have a boyfriend" when they don't.

U guys gotta become aware of these "subconscious" processes and motivations, work with them, and who knows eventually become the master of them… Learn to recognize any girl’s “politeness in saying no thanks", and move on.

If she isn't interested in you, forget about it. It doesn't matter. U aren’t alone, look around u, your friends, colleagues, or buddies, like what my reader Brooklyn commented, who never hit the nails in his/her life wor? If every girl would to accept all her suitors, wouldn’t it turn World War IV? Neway, even when it does happen, won’t u recover shortly thereafter?

 

Go to the next one. There are plenty k.