U Are NOT Listening!

While listening halfway to her pouring complaints on some issues, u thought u wanted to help so u started to offer some solutions…. but… then suddenly… she exploded, “Honey! You are NOT listening!”

 

OMG… u must be puzzling, what did I do wrong again?? What I’m not listening?? Weren’t I here already been listening to her for more than an hour!???

 

Then make u got so frustrated… O Sh*t!, deem I’d better be more apathetic and keep my mouth shut!…  O gosh…what exactly went wrong manz???

 

Can you relate this, guys?

 

Why is it that your problem-solving tactics just didn’t work? 

Then, what does she actually mean when she says she just wants u to listen, anyway?

Dear, am I FAT?

Familiar?

Bet most of u guys constantly hear your girls asking, “Dear, how do I look in this skirt? Fat not?”, then make u think u did something darn wrong when u tell her she looks just fine! 

Even worst, if a scantily-cad babe happens to walk pass, and u just so nice happen to glimpse at her direction, Oh... u confirm die liao!!! She might unreasoningly get freaking upset and accuse u of ogling that "vain pop", even though I bet any guy who still has a pulse would dare done otherwise!

So why do u think she acts this way? & What do u think u should do?

Guys there wanna make a guess? or anyone wanna contribute your views?

Beauty or Brainy? Wats ur Choice?

The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she reckons the average guy can see much better than he can think...

...

Once A Stranger...

A guy falls in love through his eyes, a girl through her ears...

A guy loses his sense of direction after 4 drinks, a girl loses hers after 4 kisses...

Love is the history of a girl's life, it's an episode in a guy's...

And remember... every loving couples was once a stranger...

AGAIN! This Fear Of REJECTION!

Ahhhh! So… It’s that natural fear called REJECTION again!

 

I find this topic more and more fascinating.

Thanks to those few readers here who bother to leave valuable and interesting comments to my previous entry;) It’s great to hear u guys voicing out your different views.

 

Okay, u all certainly got a point there, afterall I being merely a girl and needless mention ever tried make any initiative in approaching a guy before, I certainly aren’t in any position to relate that “feeling of rejection”.

 

Hmm…so, guess we’re still laying on that one big natural fear: this fear of REJECTION! Deem this instinctive emotion really does paralyses and hinders u guys from doing the things u really want to do, including approaching girls. Seemingly appears that the idea of walking up to a stranger and having her REJECT u sure is causing u guys to instantly feel sick in the pit of your stomachs and literally feel a horrible combination of nervousness and confusion, huh?

Alas!… so it’s still this one big natural fear that is overshadowing most of u guys: this fear of REJECTION! One (maybe more) even think it’s this fear that make them rather walk away… hmm.. or perhaps make some rather run through a minefield than walk up to a girl and ask her out on a date?

So, perhaps it’s like those settings we see in the movie - some guys psych themselves up for an hour to go talk to a girl, but when the moment comes to actually DO IT, EVERYTHING changes, huh?

Your heart rate shoots up, breathing quickens, eyes dart back and forth, thoughts of rejection fill the mind, and eventually the pressure becomes too much to bare… huh?

Naturally, u find this state so scary that u end up deciding to “shuak” and just forget about approaching the girl... just to end the discomfort… huh?

The temptation is great to just "walk away" because just as quickly as the intense nervousness is triggered by the moment one decides to ACT, it goes away when u decide to "forget about it and walk away".

The fact that "choosing to walk away" leads to the "instant gratification" of your nervous feeling, going away thus makes it the most popular option… huh?

Ahhh, the dili-deliness of the human mind!

Is this really what most of you guys rather choose to do… just walk away? Giving up before u’ve even started?

If I just think about it, I sure can remember MANY occasions some strangers seemed to want to talk to me, but end up just didn’t do it. Those moments obviously made an impression, because, most time, those guys just make me thought they look like a nerd, staring and smiling, appear wanting to approach, but yet never dare.

Can you relate any such similar moment where u likely look like such nerd in another girl’s eyes?


THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACTUAL REJECTION AND THE FEAR OF REJECTION...

I think it's important for u guys to realize that there's a BIG difference between ACTUAL rejection (having a girl who is offended, upset, rude, etc. to u when u start talking to her) and the FEAR of rejection (how u feel when u imagine a girl rejecting u).

Actually in my opinion, I don’t think u guys are “rejected” very often mah!

 

Why I say that?

 

Ask yourself, most of the time when a guy starts talking to a girl, she is actually rather nice about the whole affair mah, not meh?

U see, if a girl isn't interested, she usually just says "I have a boyfriend" or "No thank u"... or she'll just walk away without saying anything at all.

Out of those times that u approached someone before, or seen your friend approached a girl before, can u recall any time that a girl has yelled "Get away from me u loser! Pls go look at yourself in the mirror before talking to me u ugly fatty, don’t u hold fat hopes that I’ll go out with u. The very thought of going on a date with u makes me sick to my stomach!"

ehem! Perhaps it did really happened to SOME unfortunate ones, but I certainly have never did that to any approacher in my life, and I believe most girls won’t.

Okay, I admit the worst maybe I did was making fun of the words he used (telling him that his pickup line was lame) or just walking away.

No slaps, no boyfriends beating him up, and no yelling.

 

Surely, human beings tend to want to "save face" when it comes to relationships.

Who like the idea of being outrightly “rejected” by another person wor? And normally we ALSO tend to not want to "hurt other people's feelings" by rejecting them.

This is one of the reasons why girls will often lie and say "I have a boyfriend" when they don't.

U guys gotta become aware of these "subconscious" processes and motivations, work with them, and who knows eventually become the master of them… Learn to recognize any girl’s “politeness in saying no thanks", and move on.

If she isn't interested in you, forget about it. It doesn't matter. U aren’t alone, look around u, your friends, colleagues, or buddies, like what my reader Brooklyn commented, who never hit the nails in his/her life wor? If every girl would to accept all her suitors, wouldn’t it turn World War IV? Neway, even when it does happen, won’t u recover shortly thereafter?

 

Go to the next one. There are plenty k.

That Then Is True Rejection!

Do you guys HATE the idea of "rejection"?

Okay, naturally not many guys I know are literally BULLET-PROOF. It just appears to me that perhaps most guys have never learned to develop their "inner self confidence".

I'm not talking about "don't like the idea" or "wish it didn't happen"... I'm talking HATE here.

From a friend’s friend’s recent blog entry, it appears that he has encountered some sort of rejection, but what really baffled me is, why must he appears like the whole damn world is going against him? Though I’ve not personally know this guy nor meet him in person before, from most of his interesting blog entries, I had thought I know someone who’s fervent and been admired by his scrupulous attention to details… hmm… bad ideas to have left an unappreciable comment in his blog…I should have learned that most of us prefer to hear nice and soothing stuffs (even it means crabs!) and not some facts that hurt their ears, perhaps I should remind myself not to be so foolish and kpo again. Anything I wanna voice out, I rather say it here – my own blog, then deem it means no other people’s business.

Then again, I wonder… is it the idea of revealing your love to a girl and then having her REJECT u can cause a guy’s world to turn upside down and end in such a miserable mood?

Is it that most guys fear rejection because it lowers their self-esteem?

If u think that having a girl say “no” is frightening and cause u to lose confidence, then I bet u sure don't know what TRUE rejection is about. Maybe once a guy sees what true rejection is, he realizes how childish it is to be intimidated by those “no”!

True rejection occurs when a woman rejects a man with whom she has spent a considerable amount of time. It is the ultimate rejection because the man is dismissed due to his all-around identity.

My real brother had his heart ripped out by his first fiancée, who left him after six years of what he thought was a wonderful relationship -- now that's rejection. In fact, u would think that his self-esteem took a beating and that he has a hard time approaching ladies, but he talks to new ladies all the time. I asked him how he does it and he explained that once a guy get the ultimate rejection, everything else is like a walk in the park...

I'm Fallin' For u...

Why find love? Let love find u instead lor.

Which's also why it's called fallin' in love mah, isn't it?

...because u don't purposely force yourself to fall, right?

Yes, when it kisses your head...u just fall lor...

Look! who's Talking...

Saw this poster outside a hospital's Radiography room this morning. Cannot help not to take out my hp and snapped a quick shot.

Haha... cute illustration hoh! LOL

Boyfriend or boy friend?

Have u ever been someone’s spare tyre without yourself knowing it?

For ‘spare tyre’ here, I’m referring to those kind that today may gives u hopes and hints that she is interested in u but then the next day a total 180 degree turn of attitude, that make u appear like an idiot “forming your own excessive love” or worst causing embarrassment or ruining a friendship.

It’s terribly crossed, anguished and undeserving, isn’t it?

For those of u who have good memory, u probably remember reading version of this from my old blog before… Yes, what I phrase it before… ambiguities of most girls.

Okay, ask yourself, have u ever been one of those “Mr. Nice guy” to a girl, then eventually only to hear her say to u - U’re a great friend, but not what she wants for a boyfriend. She regards u as a brother. Even though she claims she loves/likes u, it’s not the way u think it is.

*OUCH!!! F***!!! U probably think these are the most irresponsibly crabs u heard, next to “It’s not u, it’s just me.”

What exactly does she mean manz? How can she loves/likes u but not feel all that same burning desires that u do? Is there any way u can change her mind, or r u destined to be just her platonic friend?

If u are a nice guy, considerate, nice-tempered and giving, how can any girl not grab u? Don’t tell me girls are blind and always want the “bad boys” and not the nice guys? Okay dude, here’s a little truth… but one that maybe hurting – Contrary to whatever you guys may believe… Yes, girls actually DO like nice guys, what we DON”T like is spineless guys, those we regard as doormats or… spare tyres.

If u always drop whatever urgent stuff u were doing only to pick her up and chauffeur her to wherever she asks u to take her to, u’re very likely her spare tyre! If u always go places she decides to go, see the movies that she chooses to see, dine at the seafood restaurants she picks (even though u have seafood allergy problem), or even lost contact with most of your buddies because she doesn’t like them, and bow to her every eccentricity, u could risk being that… spare tyre!

And not forgetting… spare tyres are boring k!

Of course I aren’t saying that u shouldn’t treat your girlfriend nice, nor saying your nice-treatment to your girlfriend will end up putting u at risk of being that spare tyre… NO! Nonsense! Of course that’s NOT what I meant k. What I want u guys to question yourself is… are u very certain she regards you as her boyfriend or mere a boy friend? If it’s the latter, do u think she’ll have any guilt at the eventual time when it’s a must to tell u, “U’re a great friend but…”

She could be your good friend of many years, she could be the best opposite sex best friend that revealed to u most of her woes or report to u any of her relationship matters, she could even be the one who borrowed your shoulder to cry on during her heartbreaking times.

So, how should a guy ensure that he’s holding a “return ticket” and not being categorised in her “spare tyre” list?

Okay, deem I shall only discuss and reveal most girls’ thoughts on this if there are interested readers lor, no point I blab on and nobody appreciate again right? (remember jojo needs attention hoh… LOL!)

Meantime, I would sure love to hear anyone out there sharing similar experience… if any. Is there?

Why I haven’t been blogging?

Okay, I gotta admit I’m a girl who really needs lots of attentions.

Readers who follow my current blog from my old blog “jojosoh.com” should be well aware that I like to touch on relationship topics particularly pouring secrets revealing most girls’ thoughts. (DON’T go back to that old blog address pls! The moment I forgone that blog, some really quick & sleazy ppl knew that domain has got a regular flow of traffics and already someone had grabbed it! Fuming!!!….:( )

Then again, as I feel myself doing big favour offering tips for guys to better read and understand their girls, I expect ppl to appreciate and leave comments – this is certainly the least to make any blogger feel good knowing readers enjoy reading and care about what she/he blogs. But then being a greedy attention seeker, I got really demoralised easily when seeing quite many login but so few bothered to leave me comments.

So, I got bored and thought I switch my theme to blog on my own life instead. But u tell me, what’s so interesting to talk about your daily life?

Blog and snap pics on all the restaurants I patronize, like what most other blogs are doing? Er… quite boring and not my style leh, and honestly I now got quite sick with restaurant foods since it’s like every other daily meals happen in my life (ah… talking about food, maybe someone can remind me later to tell u guys about a cockroach incident I encounter with Café Cartel recently, I almost wanted to rip their reputation… Yuackz the thought and stench of the creature is really sending me stomach-churning again….eeeyuakzzz disgusting lor!)

Blog about my own love lifes? Chey… confirm everybody will be sleepingzzzzzz

Blog about my own thoughts? Nah… I did below before but so what? Most just don’t understand what I was writing…

Ok I got really bored again, and so what can boredom lead one to write? Simply u see BLANK PAGE!

Then again, when I browse through other people’s blogs, I’m often awestruck that some could write and express their thoughts out so wonderfully, particularly that loud Xiaxue (I only like the style, frank criticisms and strong ways of how she expresses her opinions, but absolutely can’t stand her photoshoped looks when any blind soul could surely see how hideously different she looks in video clips). Then also a friend’s friend’s blog www.wretch.cc/blog/Earthy1983 – for those who able to read Chinese, u shouldn't miss this guy's blog, really find he always has an awesome and mind-blowing ways of expressing his thoughts, not that he's a friend's friend that I say that, I never meet this blogger before in person btw, but his is the first other ppl's blog that I ever bother to leave comments on (Heez..free advertorial here for u, Earthy:P)

I’m still searching…yes soul-searching for topics that interest most readers…. Hmmmmmm…maybe perhaps I shouldn’t be bothered so much and perchance just write whatever I best in expressing lor… afterall It’s my own blog ma right, just like camwhoring wherever and whenever I happy to…okay btw, the below pics are self-taken in my bathtub just before my pom pom... see how I can pose everywhere I like lor...hahaha...LOL